It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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