i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
