What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize