He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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