They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
