Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
