hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Welp...herpes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
