Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
