i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
