so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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