But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i permit you to call me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
