We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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