i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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