I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
