And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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