What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
