By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
