Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
