I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
