my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
