you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize