dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
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I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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