He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
