No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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