you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
