If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize