yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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