I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
