I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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