How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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