You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she pinky promised me she was 18
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
