I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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