i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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