scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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