JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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