dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
