Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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