im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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