i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
