whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
