Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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