after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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