Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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