he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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