Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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