Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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