There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
