Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just invented taco cereal.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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