today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
