He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
