My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
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