I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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