I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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