Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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