OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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