Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
