We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
