Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
where are my eyebrows?
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