What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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