is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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