It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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