There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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