we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
